I admit I have been pretty hard on myself for a few months for not being my authentic self. I have noticed myself reverting back to complaining and getting upset about my life’s circumstances and feeling stuck because of it. I moved back into my old habits of letting things happen and reacting to them. I have sat and wondered what happened to me? I was never this way or I thought I gave up being this way. This morning I woke up and forgave myself. I realized yesterday, with the support of a wonderful man, that I have been too hard on myself for actually just going through the transitions that everyone faces in life.

WOW!  Over the past few weeks I’ve been getting my PhD in Not Taking it Personally.  A couple of weeks ago I wrote a powerful declaration of what I’m up to in the world and how I am using my physical body to portray it and be the change I wish to see in the world.  I am proud and empowered by literally taking Gandhi’s words into my life and make my life be dedicated to rupturing the oppressions that I feel and see in the world.  How this shows up, is that I don’t shave my legs and I’ve recently tried stopping plucking the hairs from my chin.  It has taken me several steps to get to this place of first noticing where I’m feeling disempowered, then making a difference, and now- speaking out about it.  I thought that I had it all figured out, that I was on top of any feeling of unworthiness and truly in my power as a woman fully in choice and freedom around my body.  Well, rarely are we ever done and finished with learning lessons.  As I’ve heard time and time again- as soon as you declare something, everything else shows up.

Immediately after posting I found comments on my blog that were hateful and degrading to me and my commitment.  I found that a link to my blog was mentioned on another website with dozens of responses and reactions to my commitment with disgust and hatred.  I felt attacked, alone,  diminished, defensive, angry… and then I recognized what work there is to do from my seat.  My emotional reaction to the circumstances of their comments is my work to push through.  It’s human to feel sadness with criticism and defensive with aggressive words… and it’s my job to stay in my commitments and weather the storm.  As Kindred Spirit reminds me, upsets are not personal:

We're going through lots of excited changes and shifts in the backstage of Cafe Gratitude, LLC.  We are moving into using new programs, changing how we manage our finances, and having challenging and inspiring conversations around sharing.  As we stretch and grow as a company we feel those stretch-marks building and lean into the discomfort more and more every day.  Last night at our manager meeting, Terces invited us all to keep the vibration high and the energy moving towards the greatness of all of these changes, no matter how challenging them might be.  Together, we are all taking on no complaining for 21 days.  

To take on this practice, start your commitment now.  If you witness yourself falling into referring to yourself as a victim, or diminishing of something/someone/someplace, then start over!  It's another 21 days until you've accomplished the commitment!  As Terces shared with us last night, complaints are not intended to further a project, they are meant to put in obstacles.  Complaints inhibit progress and function as a disabler.  When I complain, I know that I am taking myself out of the drivers seat to be the victim of the circumstance.  When I complain, I know that I am affirming that complaint- I am making my word create my reality, like an affirmation.  As Terces said last night, ideas and sharing is great, but feedback needs to support the progression of the team.  

I know that this is a longer commitment than a week in our usual "Invitations" on Mondays for the week!  This time I invite you to for the next 21 days starting NOW stop complaining.  See what unveils itself to you.